Hudson Beach Cafe

It was only a matter of time. You can't go running around the city making a living tasting food and not come across a few bad seeds. I shed a tear for fry lovers everywhere after choking down a couple of Hudson Beach Cafe's excuse for fries (BFG rating: 19/57, See FryCap below). Oh! And couple this with it coming on the heels of the worst ass kicking I've ever seen in softball. We lost 33-1 and went to drown our sorrows in carbonated, alcoholic liquids. More Pics

Hudson Beach Cafe, an outdoor terrace bar, had a chill set up and splendid views of Riverside Park, the Hudson River and the New Jersey skyline beyond that. "Self, what a great place" I said to myself. "Order the fries." It was all downhill from there. The "fries" (I put them in quotes because I don't want them confused with the food I love) were undercooked and tasted more like used fry grease.

I was actually afraid to send them back because our waitress was Australian. I hear they can dismember you without even thinking... Anyway, I sent them back against my better judgment and they returned just as bad and probably with hint of phlegm..

So what do you do with terrible fries at an outdoor bar?? You play a game of "Catch It In Your Mouth". Men vs. Women. The women won hands down... Funny because it's true. (If you're reading this mom, sorry. Couldn't help myself. I'll get you a house when I open BarFryGuy's Bar and Grill. :D )

To the FryCap!!

Hudson Beach Cafe: 105th St. and Riverside
Taste: 0/10
Crispiness/Texture: 0/10
Presentation: 1/10
Ambiance: 9/10
Service: 5/10
BFG Factor: 4/7 (A game of "Catch it in your mouth" makes any meal better)

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Rest In Peace Michael Jackson :'(

Here's a playlist of 500 MJ songs. Enjoy :)
http://www.imeem.com/people/K1rrgZa/playlist/u7huhN2c/mj-june-09-music-playlist/

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 25th Anniversary!

Bar... Check.
Fry... Check.
Guy... Check.

 

Left: Don't even think about it. Raphael taught me how to use these!
Right: Getting light-headed trying to get my TMNT game for the Nintendo to work... I did not succeed. :( But it brought back memories from 1989 :)

COWABUNGA! To celebrate the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles turning 25 this year, I decided to have a viewing party for the first two movies Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Secret of the Ooze! This was easily one of the best ideas I've ever had in my life (behind creating BarFryGuy and ahead of going to NYU). This is all thanks to Vanilla Ice's GO NINJA, GO NINJA GO!

Ah yes good times. But wait.. I'm supposed to be talking about fries...

Well after the party, I took several faithful Fry Kids to Jake's Dilemma on Amsterdam (Upper West Side holleeeeer). While there, I ate Jake's Seasoned Fries (37/57 BFGs. See the FryCap below), won a game of flip cup, read an encyclopedia, and danced to Beyonce's Single Ladies (I couldn't control myself... Kinda like THIS GUY)

These bad boys were lightly seasoned with Old Bay or something because they had a special little zing to them. They were served with cold ketchup which was a nice compliment to the subtle spices on the fries. There is one drawback with this cut style fry. Invariably, you get scraggly little bastard fries at the bottom of the basket. No one likes scraggly little bastard fries.

Top: Jake's Basket of Joy. Seasoned Fries.
Left: BFG and Rosanna, tonight's Honorary Intern without whom these pics don't happen
Middle: BFG and Fry Kids Folashade and Caro IN YA MOUTH
Right: BFG and Brooke our charismatic waitress

Quick aside before the FryCap. I try to take notes when I go out and I always end up with some incoherent nonsense the next day that makes me go "Huh?". The next day my notes had a quote from Rosanna: "It's Merry Masturbation Month!" I have no idea what that was in reference to... Oh well.. to the FRYCAP!!

Jake's Dilemma: 430 Amsterdam Ave (81st)
Taste: 5/10
Crispiness/Texture: 6/10
Presentation: 5/10
Ambiance: 7/10
Service: 9/10 (Brooke danced to the entire Single Ladies song)
BFG Factor: 5/7 (We trashed complete strangers in a match of Flip Cup with their own beer!)

I'm (Almost) Famous!!

So I googled "bar fry guy" and one of the top hits was a random furniture site I've never heard of featuring my YouTube video!!! I'm Famous!!!!

http://www.bestpricesfurniture.com/hallway-furniture/bar-fry-guy-does-karate

Ocean's 8 at Brownstone Billiards

So I took a looooooong trip to Brooklyn for my friend Cat's birthday. I know what you're thinking "Brooklyn?? BROOKLYN?? Don't people get shot out there??" Yes. Yes, they do. But nothing will deter BarFryGuy from his stated goal of delivering you the very best this city has to offer. Even if that means traipsing all the way to Crooklyn to darken my liver and devour some great fries.

Scrump-CHEE-Us Steak Fries

Ocean's 8, originally uploaded by BarFryGuy.

There is nothing not to like about Steak Fries, but it is wonderful when establishments take the extra care to use special seasoning and serve them with something other than the good ol' 57.

Ocean's 8 which is a pool hall (they also have bowling and ping pong) takes pride in they're food offerings and your palette is beneficiary of that TLC. The Steak Fries are lightly seasoned and served with BBQ sauce and Honey Mustard sauce. Do you know what that means, Fry Kids? No extra work for my lazy ass. No salt shakin'. No 57 bottle tappin'. No burning calories period. After all, exercise is for the birds. Who the hell wants to live forever???

Fry Cap!!
Place: Ocean's 8
BFGs: 39 of 57
Price: $$
Location: 308 Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn

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