Village Pourhouse Downtown: So nice I had to do it twice!

BFG FryCap
Place: Village Pourhouse 63 3rd Ave at 11th St.

BFGs: 45 of 57
Taste: 8/10
Crispiness/Texture: 8/10
Presentation: 8/10
Ambiance: 7/10
Service: 8/10
BFG Factor: 6/7 (more Beer Pong :) )

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On my boy Jamie’s birthday, I got a text that read “Open bar tonight at Village Pourhouse from 7-8, just do the following…” It was from my good friends at @BuzzTxt who do drink specials and open bars just for showing the hostess a text message on your phone at the door. (Text BTX to 95495 to join) I have no idea how it works, nor do I care. All I know is it is very easy to lose count of how many drinks you consume when you don’t have to pay for them, like [insert tasteless joke about girls at bars here].

This is the Village Pourhouse located downtown on 3^rd Ave and 11^th Street. It is classier than its 109^th Street fraternal twin but the menus are identical. Do you know what that means Fry Kids? Another order of Village Pourhouse Smothered Fries! (Check out the review from the previous posting for more on this Three Cheese and Bacon creation.) Then we all stumbled, erm, “walked” to Bar None on 3rd and 13th for a few games of beer pong and great music.

Village Pourhouse Uptown

Hey, remember me? I was in rehab this summer trying to reform this whole fried food and alcohol diet. If you’re reading this, CONGRATULATIONS! You’re the reason I relapsed!! Go ahead; pat yourself on the back. I’ll wait. ...… Ok, back to business! :)

I’m an honorary member of the Nickelodeon softball team (still undefeated at the time of this communication) and after winning a game uptown at 108th and Riverside we headed over to the Village Pourhouse on 109th and Amsterdam for celebratory drinks and frites. Before I get into that though, a word of advice. Don’t be like me when you grow up. I had not one but TWO Makers on the rocks before going to the game, got there right before we started, and prayed the ball didn’t get hit to me. I did, however, hit the game-winning single so I guess I have favor with the Alcohol gods… but I digress.

We ordered two beer bongs (or Hi Toppers) of Bud Light for only $20 each. Peaking at the menu, it only took me four seconds to decide what I wanted. I ordered the Smothered Fries. Oh. My. Jesus… If you’re on a diet, please cover your eyes.

Village Pourhouse’s Smothered Fries are handcut and deep-fried then drowned in three cheeses and (wait for it….) BACON. As teammate Jeremy Schloss so eloquently put it, “If you put cheese and bacon on something, it’s impossible to suck.” This is a bit of an overstatement, but I like where his head’s at. What’s amazing about them is there’s cheese and bacon throughout the dish. Unlike other bars that just put cheese atop the fries as a mere afterthought, Village Pourhouse said smothered and they meant smothered. They are served with sour cream, Ranch, and Good Ol’ 57. They also come with a warning to consult your doctor to make sure your heart is healthy enough for sexual activity. Oh wait, that’s Cialis… Either way, these fries are not for the faint of heart, and I don’t recommend them to any Calorie Counters. :D

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BFG FryCap
Place: Village Pourhouse 109th St. and Amsterdam Ave.

BFGs: 45 of 57

Taste: 8/10
Crispiness/Texture: 8/10
Presentation: 8/10
Ambiance: 7/10
Service: 8/10
BFG Factor: 6/7 (Several games of Beer Pong! VIDEO)