BarFryGuy's Jenga: How To Eat Cheese Fries

When you order a basket/plate of fries for the table, everyone’s natural inclination is to reach out and grab a fry. This is all fine and good until... [Enter: Cheese Fries] People reach out then pause. Perplexed with brow furrowed and hand hovering over the basket, they concentrate in search of a dry portion of a fry sticking out. You can see in their eyes that they are weighing the level of pleasure they will receive after successfully securing a fry covered in cheese (and chili, bacon, etc.) and the level of dismay they will feel if/when they make a mess of the table, or worse, themselves. I call this Jenga.

I know what you’re thinking. “Why not just grab a fork?” Think, young padawan. We’re in a bar. What if you have to ask the waitress for the fork and wait for it to show up? That, grasshopper, is the difference between winners and losers. By the time you get a fork, BarFryGuy has already eaten all of the good parts--my table and shirt be damned! That’s why God made Wet-Ones and Jesus made Tide-to-Go. So you (loser) can watch me (winner) enjoy my cheese fries.

David Rossitter = Winner

The moral of the story is you can’t play Jenga with a fork. Now go out there and be somebody!

Happy eating Fry Kids. ~Your friendly neighborhood BarFryGuy

LEAVE COMMENT

BarFryGuy is on the Map!

I'm back on my grind Fry Kids. Don't believe?

GOOGLE ME!

BECOME A FAN of BarFryGuy on Facebook

FOLLOW BarFryGuy on Twitter

WATCH BarFryGuy on YouTube

CHECK OUT BarFryGuy on Flickr

Join me on my quest to find the best Bar Fries in the World!

Village Pourhouse Uptown

Hey, remember me? I was in rehab this summer trying to reform this whole fried food and alcohol diet. If you’re reading this, CONGRATULATIONS! You’re the reason I relapsed!! Go ahead; pat yourself on the back. I’ll wait. ...… Ok, back to business! :)

I’m an honorary member of the Nickelodeon softball team (still undefeated at the time of this communication) and after winning a game uptown at 108th and Riverside we headed over to the Village Pourhouse on 109th and Amsterdam for celebratory drinks and frites. Before I get into that though, a word of advice. Don’t be like me when you grow up. I had not one but TWO Makers on the rocks before going to the game, got there right before we started, and prayed the ball didn’t get hit to me. I did, however, hit the game-winning single so I guess I have favor with the Alcohol gods… but I digress.

We ordered two beer bongs (or Hi Toppers) of Bud Light for only $20 each. Peaking at the menu, it only took me four seconds to decide what I wanted. I ordered the Smothered Fries. Oh. My. Jesus… If you’re on a diet, please cover your eyes.

Village Pourhouse’s Smothered Fries are handcut and deep-fried then drowned in three cheeses and (wait for it….) BACON. As teammate Jeremy Schloss so eloquently put it, “If you put cheese and bacon on something, it’s impossible to suck.” This is a bit of an overstatement, but I like where his head’s at. What’s amazing about them is there’s cheese and bacon throughout the dish. Unlike other bars that just put cheese atop the fries as a mere afterthought, Village Pourhouse said smothered and they meant smothered. They are served with sour cream, Ranch, and Good Ol’ 57. They also come with a warning to consult your doctor to make sure your heart is healthy enough for sexual activity. Oh wait, that’s Cialis… Either way, these fries are not for the faint of heart, and I don’t recommend them to any Calorie Counters. :D

LEAVE COMMENT|BEER PONG VIDS|MORE PICS

BFG FryCap
Place: Village Pourhouse 109th St. and Amsterdam Ave.

BFGs: 45 of 57

Taste: 8/10
Crispiness/Texture: 8/10
Presentation: 8/10
Ambiance: 7/10
Service: 8/10
BFG Factor: 6/7 (Several games of Beer Pong! VIDEO)

Sutton Place Rooftop Bar

On a beautiful Monday Night after our game at Roosevelt Island where the Crazy Lizards softball team pummeled some woebegone opponents 19-7 with the help of my 3 hits :) , we ended up at the Sutton Place Rooftop Bar which is walking distance from the Roosevelt Island Tram. Speaking of the Tram, I'm afraid of heights and all I could think about was what I'd do if the Green Goblin showed up and tried to make Spiderman choose between us and Mary Jane Watson, but I digress...

Sutton is a great scene. This was a Monday so it wasn't crazy and we got to enjoy good conversation without the pretentious people that normally frequent a place with $7+ Beers and $12+ Cocktails. It would have been awkward wearing our Crazy Lizards tees surrounded by cocktail dresses and business suits.

Now, I'm not one for rules, but I do have one (yes, only one). When drinking outdoors, drink something that requires a fruit. If you close your eyes, it feels like you're on vacation. Our waitress Cyce from Frisco suggested the Steak Fries which she informed me were "seasoned with Magic". I doubt this Muggle knew the first thing about magic, but I ordered a basket and a Corona (of course).

They came fresh and hot. They had just the right amount of crispness for Steak Fries. You need their innards (that's right, innards) to be soft in order to really enjoy them, but you don't want them to be soggy and formless. As I suspected, there was no "magic" on them but they didn't need it. A little S & P and that good ol' 57, and they were good to go!

Place: Sutton Place Rooftop Bar
BFG Rating: 45/57
Taste: 8/10
Crispiness/Texture: 8/10
Presentation: 6/10
Ambiance: 9/10
Service: 9/10
BFG Factor: 5/7